Dylon has been hired in his first "real" job. He will be working at the local movie theater. As parents we really struggled with this as we were concerned about his schedule during the summer - church camp, band camp, youth missions endeavors, Wednesday and Sunday spiritual times, vacation etc.... He really only has a few years left then he starts running downhill for the next 45 years. I am very pleased that his boss is a Christian and understands the dynamics of mid-adolescent kids.
I do not always have a clear - unrestricted sense of what is best and when one's kid/family is involved sometimes that fuzzy view is skewed even more. But, my spiritual reading today took me to "The Seasons of Parenting" by Dr. John Rosemond. He states that at or about the age of 13 the season of "mentoring" begins to take place. The Season of Mentoring
Season two lasts for ten years, from three to thirteen, at which point a second transition takes place (or should) that moves parent and child into season three, the Season of Mentoring. It is no coincidence that in traditional cultures, early adolescent rites of passage—Jewish bar and bat mitzvahs being extant ex-amples—occur when a child is thirteen. These rituals mark and celebrate a major transition in the parent-child relationship. They acknowledge that the child in question has completed the disciplinary “curriculum” of season two and is now regarded as self-governing. He no longer needs adults to tell him what and what not to do; rather, he needs adult mentors to help him acquire the practical skills he will need to emancipate successfully—how to apply for a job, balance a budget, plan for the future, and the like. I do not necessarily consider myself to always be a good parent - I guess I just know my faults too well. But - we are here, like it or not!
Season two lasts for ten years, from three to thirteen, at which point a second transition takes place (or should) that moves parent and child into season three, the Season of Mentoring. It is no coincidence that in traditional cultures, early adolescent rites of passage—Jewish bar and bat mitzvahs being extant ex-amples—occur when a child is thirteen. These rituals mark and celebrate a major transition in the parent-child relationship. They acknowledge that the child in question has completed the disciplinary “curriculum” of season two and is now regarded as self-governing. He no longer needs adults to tell him what and what not to do; rather, he needs adult mentors to help him acquire the practical skills he will need to emancipate successfully—how to apply for a job, balance a budget, plan for the future, and the like. I do not necessarily consider myself to always be a good parent - I guess I just know my faults too well. But - we are here, like it or not!
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